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Wednesday 20 July 2011

Virginity Deflowered

The scent of fragrant dewy roses whiffing through my olfactory senses felt like a beautiful dream and awaiting something special to happen at the very next moment. And in my case it was no different. To think again, it was very different.

“Sashaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, WAKE UP,” yelled out my mom that reverberated through the four walls of my bedroom upstairs.  In a flash, a bleary-eyed I, was up, but brutally thawed in the gut from what I thought was a nice dream. Or was it coincidental that by my pillow lay a bunch of lovely roses of different colours that were in a mood to romanticize its emotions to me. I would never know. Or may be I would. I by then just noticed a sealed note attached to the bouquet of roses. I opened it around its edges and before I could read its contents, petals of fresh roses of varied hues swept across my face, by-passing my nostrils to add effects to the endearing aura. “That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet,” the note began …Moments after I read the lovey-dovey note, my cell-phone sounded my favourite song, Ti Amo Ti Amo ... It was him … the one that made me understand what love is. And to whom, I had a dedicated ring tone. In a flash, I shrugged away my quilt, and dragged my butt away from my cosy bed bare-footed to reach out to my cell-phone, on my study-table nearby.

“Hunnieeeee   … Wish you a very Happy Anniversary ….”
 I was taken momentarily, by surprise by the greeting, a refrain from the usual, Dahlin, wake up ….. See you in an hour.”
Yes, he was my alarm clock too. And we studied at the same college.
Recovering from the surprise as immediate as hearing it, I corrected him in a soft, mellifluous tone, “Us, Sweetheart.”
And he went on. “I have made plans to make our day special. I hope you liked my surprise and have read the note attached with it.”
I replied, “Yes, dear I thought it was a dream ….. The flowers, so sweet of you … loved them, but nothing as much as my love for you will overpower my senses.”
It was silence at the end for a few seconds, and it felt like an eternity to me. May be, he was very touched by my thought and words were failing him. I was eager to hear what he had to reply.
“Dahlin, you well know, I am the bee that nourishes on your pollen and nectar, and without whom I cannot survive,” was his answer in a sexual overtone.
Not that I did not expect such a reply, but it felt real good all the same that he “Loved me like no other.”
And then DARNNNN, my mom interrupts with another yell, Sashaaaaaa, still in bed? Time you wake up and get ready for college.
Julio, on the other end of the call, mumbled his apologies and a quick, see you soon. And there was a click.

I thought to myself, ‘’Oh my, how could I forget … this day, 20th July, a year ago, we got to know each other. I just wanted to get the most of this special day, and so bunking classes was our plan.” I called out to mom, “Ma, gimme half an hour.”

I rushed to the washroom, tidied myself up and returned to my room, and looked up my ward-robe. THE BIG ISSUE. What should I wear? A predicament and indecisiveness for every girl, on a special day as this, and, I, was no different. I rummaged through the clothes and pulled out a cerulean-blue tube top and my frayed at the borders short jeans to match. Just perfect, I thought. And threw it on to my bed and looked up myself in the mirror – This was the day, Today would be that moment. “Am I not one of the most beautiful artifacts created by “The Master Craftsman?,” I asked the mirror, who reflected my beauty in mute approval.

I quickly slipped out from my night gown to have another look at myself. In my skin-coloured inner-wear, I felt so desirable. I wanted to feel loved, experience love. Swallowing an imaginary pastille at the thought, I slowly unclasped my bra and removed my panties. Enamor embraced the floor. And I entered into ‘mind's eye mode’ again and moaned softly as I explored myself to the touch of ‘the noun that verbs my world.’ It felt good, but …

Slinking into the shower in the buff, I experienced a sensation flow through me as I cleansed myself from the just committed deed. Toweling myself bone dry, I emerged out from my bath and clothed myself. Chucking a few things into my hand-bag, I glided onto my feet my favourite flip-flops and spiffed under my arms the perfume befitting the occasion, Ferrari- Black. I preferred to resist the temptation of pouting myself to a fresh coat of lip-stick and other cosmetics which would have had me all dolled up. Today was just not the day. It would be no ordinary date. 

There was I, back in front of the mirror staring at myself. How did I look? I was svelte, not too tall, had light-brown engaging eyes, dimpled cheeks and auburn highlights on my shoulder-length silky-smooth tresses. Did I fit into my outfit well? Would his jaw-drop or just shrug? I had just more than a surprise in store for him. Approving myself of the appearance, I slung across my hand-bag over my right shoulder and sprinted downstairs.

“Goooood morning, ma,” I greeted, a startled mom. She smiled in acknowledgment, but said nothing. She had the breakfast laid for her daughter on the dining table. I helped myself to a couple of buttered bread slices, and was having my cuppa, when she broke the silence. “Julio was here earlier this morning and he had left something for you,” she winked at me. I blushed, and got of from my chair as I finished with breakfast and gave mom a peck on her cheek. I was about to take her leave as I heard an inimitable honking car outside in the driveway, when mom gently held me by my arm and made me sit.

 “Sasha, can you tell me what is going on here”, questioned the mother concerned about her growing daughter. “The roses coming early morning, dressing up as you have … is there something you would like to tell me?”

I never ever hid anything from mom until today, and I was not up to lying to her today either. “Mom, it is just that Julio and I, are celebrating our first anniversary of knowing each other.” I tried to hide the pink tinge that began to flush my cheeks, by turning away and covering the exposed cheek with the other arm. Mom was more than just a loving mother; she was also a caring elder sister and a stern, fretful dad of a daughter who had come of age, and only a month shy of turning eighteen. Yes, it was just mom and me and our pet dog, Goofy in the household. I would not like to speak about this any further.

The honking outside grew louder and impatient. I plead with mom, I gotta go. She prodded. “Does that mean you are skipping lecs today? What about you’re approaching exams?” Maaaa, don’t worry. I am coping with my studies well, I answered. She was worried that my grades would slip. Till now, I was getting among the better grades in class and she was a proud mother. And not that I was to let her down, but I would not let my blossoming love life get crushed either. She gave it her thought and let me go, not before giving me a customary kiss and hug and wishing me good luck and come back before dark instruction, though still with a hint of anxiety creasing her forehead.

I darted outside to a waiting Julio behind the wheel of his good-as-new Maruti Estilo. To him, his car was his girlfriend, and I was his spare tyre. That was what he told me once, and I did not care to mind as I knew well he loved his PJ’s too. I could see his jaw-drop as he checked me out through the rolled down passenger seat up front. I contrived pretence and gave him a bashful look. He then got out from the car, came around and walked up to me a few metres away. I extended my hands reaching out to embrace him. But, like a perfect gentleman, he did not seize the moment to give me a squeeze. Instead, he held both my hands and planted a soft, gentle kiss on the knuckles of either hand and said, “I am overwhelmed by your beauty as never before.” I demurely gave him a smile in return and … I sneezed. Yes, I did that. The Axe Effect fragrance he wore was different that day, something I was not immune to. Now how bad could that be to ruin such romantic moments. Droplets of my sneeze were resting on his hands. I murmured an apology, embarrassed and offered him a tissue and he wiped off the deposits without showing any hint of disgust. Yes, this was the actuality of our love. Nothing whatsoever could fuck our pleasure.

He then took me by the arm and guided me to his car to the passenger seat up front, opened the door, when I feigned falling. In an instantaneous motion he held me by my waist and thrust me towards him. His taut abs rippled through his tee while his biceps bulged as he held me in a protective grasp. I leaned my head against his shoulder. This was the strapping man who will never let harm come in the way of his lady and will always be by her side.

“Are you alright,” he asked anxiously. I simply fluttered my eyelids, as he helped me into the car, got around to the driver’s seat and we drove off. The plan as it was we would head over his place to watch a movie, and have lunch.

Within twenty minutes we reached his apartment where he lived alone. Julio was this independent chap who loved to do his own thing. Do his own chores and cook too.
This is what I liked about him best. A man who would not be reliant on his woman for his needs once he gets home and shares in the household duties.

Once at his place, while he changed, I lounged myself on to his couch in his sitting area. Within a few minutes, he was standing there, in nothing but his boxer shorts. Oh swell, I said to myself. Time to twirl him around my thumb, I thought. “Hun, come right here, right now,” I beseeched while I tapped my sides. Latching on to the drift, he came within seconds and sat besides me on the couch. I gently placed his head on my lap and pretended to preen his ruffled hair with one hand. With the other, I let my fingers mischievously twiddle slowly but surely across his chest. Passion was growing on me, but … there was a growl and getting louder. Yes, it was his stomach. “Sweetheart, he looked up to me and said with a twinkle in his eye, can we continue this after the intermission?” I had no option but nod my consent. It was ten minutes to noon, but hunger took precedence over covetousness.

Swiftly back on to his feet, he went to the kitchen to prepare lunch and I tagged along to help. Helping him in the kitchen was quite something I must say. Neatly organized were the larger utensils in shelves and the rack to hold smaller utensils like the knives, forks, spoons and ladles. On another shelf, were labelled containers of different food spices among other food items. No sooner were we at the kitchen, he announced we were to prepare chicken curry. As he turned on the burner on medium heat and put the frying pan in place, he began instructions for the ingredients with the other utensils required at hand. In a methodical manner, the dish was prepared in a record ten minutes to an aromatic waft tempting our rolling tongues to sample and taste pronto!  It was not long after our food was ready, that we served ourselves and paired our lunch with a couple of lagers each. While we sated our palates, and calmed Julio’s tummy, we took swigs of beer in between.

Tummies filled and with our senses getting intoxicated, we staggered our way back to the seating area. Muttering our sweet nothings to each other, Julio switched on the telly and inserted into the DVD player, a DVD, while I made myself comfortable on the couch again. The movie was Delhi Belly, the latest movie from Bollywood to set multiplexes across the country with choc-a-bloc screenings. Shit does happen they say, and it was no better, with the two of us.

With Julio plonking his rear next to mine and entwining an arm around my shoulder, we began to watch the movie with evinced interest. Or at least, we tried to …until, something happened.  This was to be it. I gave an ecstatic thought.

I sensed his hand feeling its way on my back while he began to canoodle me from the front. I knew what was coming and I was waiting for this to happen. The day had finally come to let go my ingénue innocence. With our passion escalating and the skin getting intense for carnal indulgence, we rolled onto the carpeted floor with my beau on top. Lifting himself up to a seating position he pushed me towards him. The thrust on my heaving breasts had an equally proportional effect to the elasticity of my bra which screamed for air. This soon was to be realized. The smooth operator that he was, was around my back again and finding its way up my tube top. His hand was warm and inviting as it reached the fabric of my chastity belt and tried to locate the clasp. Unflinching, we continued our kissing and caressing. Tried as he did, he could not find what he was striving for and I stifled a horny laugh.

Deciding to tease him further, I moved away, easing my top off and my shorts too with egalitarian intentions. Arching my body towards his bare chest, I whispered into his ear with a wink in my eye, a popular Hindi saying, “Parde mein rehne do, parda na uthao.” Embarrassed at his initial failed quest, it did not deter him but spurred him on in lieu with renewed zeal. Thieving a look at my concealed unmentionables, his blood-shot eyes were a total give-away. Blood must have raced up to his brains and sped down to his toes. It stirred his imagination with a riot of sexy thoughts that plead for a voyage of exploration to the high seas of our satisfaction.

“For the love of God, what I look upon is His master-piece, in two-piece,” he lasciviously declared. Hyperventilating, he threaded through my silken tresses as he turned me around and began necking. My first love bite, another and a few more … I squealed in pain and delight. He pushed me back on to the couch and began to survey his pulchritudinous love interest. Tracing the contours of my breasts, he managed to find the clasp of my bra between the cups. Reaching around the fabric with his dexterous index finger, he squeezed at the single clasp and then SNAP!! The chastity belt came apart to allow her to reveal firm, fulsome breasts with cherry-coloured cute buttons.

Licentiously, he nibbled and fondled at my little hillocks and careened down the valley to strong undercurrents running through his fingers. In his lustful avarice to graze greener pastures, he slipped his hand into my panties while I tugged at his boxers which loosened and gave away. I whimpered at his sightly manhood as he impelled himself forward and lowered my panties. I let out pleasured gasps as I let his tool to work its way into my mechanics. It accommodated itself well as we let out our whoopees of carnal cohesiveness. I was now no longer a virgin and every petal of my being was touched and explored. I had now blossomed to be the most beautiful flower in our “Garden of Eden” that was for the one and only bee in my life – then, now and forever. Julio was his name. 

78 comments:

  1. Another good one except for the fact that it's an adult one which i am not supposed to read :P. Nevertheless, excellent and crisp writing...

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  2. Yes, Nik ... ty, for your feedback. Feels nice whenever you comment. Always prompt. Yea, I was thinking of having an ATTENTION NOTE before the story, as they have something of the like for movies. But for me, age of the readers is not the criteria - you may be 14 or 40, but a 'MATURE MIND' is what you should have.

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  3. I admire your outstanding writing. I haven't read such type till now (as i'm not suppose to) but I enjoyed reading it. The very first line "The scent of fragrant dewy roses whiffing through my olfactory senses felt like a beautiful dream..." is itself very beautiful which tempts someone to read further... You have a great talent. I give you my best wishes for your future short stories :-)

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  4. Both Maisuru fans have commented till now :) Anyway ... Shilpa Srinivas (fan of Brett Lee), appreciate your feedback as well. And I suppose you are mature enough to read such fictional works ... need I say any further ?! ;);)

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  5. i have finally read ur blog!! as i dont like reading much..i like ur writing style! u describe each n evry thing in gr8 detail thts makes the reader engaged to the story! as like shilpa i havnt read such stories too!! but there is a saying there is always a 1st tym fr evrything!!:P so all the best fr ur short stories!! :)

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  6. Ty Tasu. Do continue reading my blog at least and feel free to share your thoughts on life & experiences on this creative channel too. Well, the adage holds true - 'there is always a first time' Not just with you or Shilpa, but with me, and others too.

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  7. Completely agree with nikhil and tasnim..
    very beautifully written.. i bet no one would ever guess that this story is written by a guy, u have very well expressed a girls feeling so well, while reading i felt that m reading a girl's journal written by her, that's called power of writing.. very nice basil keep it up!

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  8. Thanks Swapna for your very encouraging comments. You have very well put forth your feedback and that is what I tried to do,write from a girl's perspective. This idea was suggested to me by our mutual pal - a girl, and I was also inspired partly by an Indian author, Sachin Garg. He has written a novel, "I'm Not Twenty Four ... I've been nineteen for five years ..." which is A National Bestseller written in first person from a girl's perspective. And to say, I have just read a few pages of the book. For some lame reason the book is on hold, and I've read two other novels since and now am onto another book - a collection of true-life incidents (from the author's blog)which am yet to complete. Hopefully, I will have a second re-start on the book soon ... in fact, I should.

    I would also like to share what Sachin Garg had to say about this blog post on my FB inbox around six hours ago ...

    Sachin Garg
    Hi Basil..
    just read your last post..
    very impressive indeed.
    great detailing and description.
    looking forward to your future posts.
    :)

    To a post on my FB Wall yesterday night, he has shared his blog which is very interesting. His two well-received novels apart, he has published on his blog, www.sachingarg.me a few short stories. Have a read.

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  9. Story is very written. And, I thought only girls could conjure such Mills & Boon stuff :).

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  10. Thank You Rachna. Feedback coming from a credible blogger as you means much :)Well, would like to tell you, and the others who have/will read this story that till date, I have read only two M&B novels ... second was incomplete ... I guess that was back in my late teens. Not read any other romance novels, like I should have. Believe me, I haven't touched any Danielle Steele books yet, or may be just flipped the odd page from a book as such. I am keen to start reading M&B again though. Our lending library has a vast collection of various M&B series. In fact, there is this M&B novel - a first by an Indian author that I am keen to purchase. It is The Love Asana by Milan Vohra which is currently out of stock at Flipkart.com

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  11. Well well well dear basil..i totally do agree with ms.Swapna!
    u've expressed a girls feeling soxpressively!
    trust me, ur every single line i read i a picturesque imaginations. after ol thats how yu relate and read:)
    hat's off 2 yu for tis one!and hope yu come uo wit many more dwn line with short as well as big stories!
    cheers n godbless :)

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  12. thx for the 'make me feel good' vibes hun, but I expected you to be a critic :)
    and well, more short stories will follow eventually.
    big stories ahhh, for now, its not even a dream ... if it is a novel or even a novella, for that matter, that you may be referring too.
    perhaps, I could write a biiig story, in form of your biography, wad say ?! ;) ;)

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  13. basil..i think whoever falls in love with you will be very lucky...i never imagined that you could express love in such a manner...great work...

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  14. a lot of research went into this-am sure, especially since it is written from a girl prospective! personally I would not rate this story too much, for the simple reason it lacks the 'X' factor, or call it a punch line! The title to start with gave the story away! I knew when i started what i would expect at the end! There has to be a surprise element. I loved your previous fiction piece, which in many ways i feel a fiction piece should be written, and is the way you should go about it.
    I understand probably mine would be the only negative comment on this blog...but as i mentioned earlier dude, I can put up a good comment just to make you happy, but you insisted i gave you a comment what i truly felt ...so this is it! This story does not even touch the realms of reality, Julio to begin with...a perfect bf never exists, the story is written more on the lines of a fairy tale.. tat girls read in Mills & Boons and not the real thing.
    An advice to you basil, try hitting upon reality once in a while in your stories, that way people can relate to your story... the kinds like "Oh! i was like this" or "this happened to me once" .... i am dissapointed! I expected much much better! and apologies on the long comment!

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  15. and dude i also suggest, you write a story on topics you are more comfortable with. Your writing clearly showed that you were uncomfortable writing about it, though you held well right till the end....people may not always see through the writing, but some people have that special ability to read thru the lines and behind the text.....you are capable of better writing! talented guy, loads of potential! Don't deliver what your fans ask of you, but give them what you do best! and they will appreciate it!

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  16. * perspective ..... :)

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  17. Let me start with appreciating that you may be my only real critic and who has given one real long feedback. It is good to have readers as such, but no matter what even flattery will not deceive me. I am grounded within my limitations as a novitiate writer.
    You say I may have done my research, partly true but I have my own imagination too. I am barely the movies’ watcher as you are in contrast and not the book-a-holic either as you are. Just two love-themed novels through since end May when I began purchasing books, and yet to read the Durjoys, Novoneels, Sachin Gargs love-themed novels and even read the Bhagats. Watching movies and reading books on the genre you want to write on fuels one’s imagination. And this is where I basically lack, I suppose. The more you read, the better you get as a writer is how I see it. And this is where I am in your shadow. That you have expressed so much as you have, I am positive with your seasoned novel reading habits on the love genre you will make for a well-read and received fictional short story writer, if not a National Bestseller novelist too. No empty boast that, and I could say he is my friend … n brag … I encouraged him to write :)

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  18. Now, you say my last work of fiction you rate 9/10 and this 5.5 (that was what you told me through sms in the morn’). On that I would say, writing from a woman’s perspective I took up as a challenge at this nascent stage itself, encouraged by a female friend. May be, I could have done lot better after reading through Sachin Garg’s "I'm Not Twenty Four ... I've been nineteen for five years ..." which is A National Bestseller written in first person from a girl's perspective. The person that I am, I perhaps took up the most difficult challenge earlier. Time would tell.
    And you have, on call, also asked me to compare the two love short stories of mine thus far, and to let you know which is better. This is not something I would know, of course. As I see it, the readers would able to judge and in fact, they may have their own reasons of choosing say this as ‘Story B’ over the previous ‘Story A’ or vice-versa. Each has their own views, and so have two popular authors, who have commented on the stories and whose views seem to differ from yours. That is the beauty of the relationship between the author and his readers.

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  19. You also say, I may have been in discomfort while writing this story, and knowing me as you should, you have my apologies that you have it all wrong. Sure the girls are aware of my PJ’s. And besides, this will be read by the world, family included so … I am by nature, very open, can be docile and cut-throat too …While I was writing, I tried at my best to put myself in the girl’s place. As about Julio not being an ideal bf, I beg to differ. If you go by the story again, he is the perfect gentleman, can do his bit at home, unlike most men. And about the animal instinct, which tends to be initiated by the man it was not to be here (remember Sasha beckoning him from the couch).
    Not writing what the fans ask you too, but what you are best at, is what you point out on having read the earlier comments, I guess … well, as I may have told you I plan to write 12-15 short stories, length of which may vary. And it is not entirely because of a certain fan, that I wrote such a story this soon, which I should have at the end, but because I felt so. I was ideating on that since having read a few pages of a certain Sachin Garg’s novel. And besides, I am to write/ or will attempt to write short stories on love in different ways and portraying love from different angles. From ending in speculation, as the first … what happens next – does love blossom, to this, which ends in the girl losing her virginity to bla (short stories, to come), I will try my best. Also, as I told you on call once, I will try to adopt different writing style each time. Like a few (short stories), dislike the rest or vice versa is up to the reader. On my part, I am doing my best and putting in every iota of effort.

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  20. This particular effort began with muddled ideas and when I decided on the outline and began keying in the story, it did not go as planned. After keying the short story for three consecutive days in office, when free, or at home, usu. during wee hours, I took a break of five days. I resumed with the story on the 19th and continued writing till almost 5.15 am next day. Later that evening (20th), I thought long and hard on how to write the last few paras, and had to cut out the ‘hitting the beach idea’ as a short story as I see it should not be in excess of 3000 words. And I would like to say here, I tried my level best to play with words at the start of the story and for the ending. I am glad that a reader made an appreciative mention particularly of the opening few lines.
    Thanks again for the elaborate feedback.

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  21. I believe you have all the ingredients of being a good author of a novel...you have written it with a very detailed description & anyone can imagine it very well...Good work done.I can you are ready for writing a novel soon :)

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  22. ty sheffers for ur ever-encouraging feedback. You have taken it a bit too far though :):)

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  23. Hi Basil
    Nice.. almost close to a Mills and Boon romance..! Somewhere along the way the role of the hormones seems to have been strong. But that is ok as your main protagonists are young college going people... Writing from the other sex's perspective is difficult and I must congratulate you on being able to do that very well. On the whole a very nice read...

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  24. hey... this one is really different to the one I read earlier.. Enjoyed the "excitement to explore love" feeling and your detailed discription helped visualize quite a lot.. The rush of emotions and "wanting to be loved" drive fits in so perfect with the age of your charecters.. :) CHEERS..!!! ... Dont forget to mark it "A" though... :)

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  25. hey.. dat was absolutely wonderful.. i like d perfume she used ;) ;).. lol.. but in all a very sweet story.. it had d perfect expressions of a girl. how she thinks & how she reacts to certain gestures made by her man.. das exactly how it is.. everything dat she did from dressing up, lookin at herself in d mirror to expressing how she felt bout her man.. everythin was jus perfect.. keep it up

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  26. Hi Meera
    Thanks for the encouraging words. Its time I read my third ... naaa, second M&B then, and make a minute study in comparative analysis.Esp., when quite a few believe I am another M&B writer in the making. That we are on M&B, I am keen to buy the first ever M&B book by an Indian author, The Love Asana by Milan Vohra, which is out of stock at Flipkart.com. For now I have asked them to notify me as it were available. Not too long ago it was, but I had not placed an order then ): I had not known that I was to evolve as a writer at that point of time.
    Anyway, it was only recently I came across your blog, www.meerareflections.blogspot.com & have followed you since. Pretty much glad that I came across it. And with your newly put up post on writing fiction and providing a link to another such creative tool, I was enthused to sharing this link with a friend and my blog readers too.So friends do visit this URL of my blog buddy and you will be directed to Wordpress where she has made an indelible impact as a fiction writer with her first short story.
    Go well Meera. I would not be surprised, if, within a year, you have an anthology of your short stories published.

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  27. Aarti, it is always good to have your feedback, esp. in the field of expertise that you are in. It means MUCH. Well, I would like to reiterate here that the stories I will write though all may be centered around love as a theme,will be mostly different from the other. There will be stories coming up as blindly in love,one-sided love, love falling apart, love with a tragic twist ... and blah. So keep an eye on this blog dear, and of course, do read about my travel & adventures. That would definitely interest you more ... we became friends, a year ago, through trekking right :) :)

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  28. Hey Prutha, expected you to be a bit of a critique of this suggested concept. The female respondents have been all too kind, musta say :P I have ingrained all the feedback received from the respondents and will try to better my effort writing from a woman's perspective whenever that happens next.For now, I have added a relatively new paperback, Losing my Virginity & Other Dumb Ideas by Madhuri Banerjee on my Shopping Cart on Flipkart.com
    But anyway, I would like to have a whiff of 'The Scent of a Woman' that spiffs on her self, Ferrai-Black ;) ;)

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  29. Oh Aarti, might I add, I dwelt on making a mention in Caps that this story is to be read only by the mature minds. Age, in my opinion should not be a criteria for adulthood. A 14-year-old might be more mature than a 22-year-old. What say, Nik?

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  30. You really have talent! It reads like something so real .. that I am blown away

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  31. Such wonderful feedback coming from a well-known blogger as you is very motivating. I have full faith that your debut novel, "A Bowlful Of Butterflies" will be off the shelves across bookstores no sooner it is out next week. I am looking forward to the book. The synopsis is very appealing too.

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  32. ur writing skills are commendable and outstanding. I appreciate and am amazed how well u can write from a girl's POV too. waiting for ur next update and thanx a lot for ur feedback on my story...it means a lot :)

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  33. Appy dear, your feedback may have gone a tad overboard, but nonetheless, if that is how you feel I am quite content :) The concept of my next story was decided few days earlier, but another popped up when I read the FB Page of my blog buddy and a debutante author-to-be (few days from now),Ritu Lalit.Now it has to be seen which concept gets outlined and subsequently keyed in, structured, edited and published on this creative channel first :) As for my feedback on your blog, I would not accept your thanks coz yours means as much to me and I haven't thanked you yet :P:P

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  34. Another good piece of work. Writing without experiencing it, only creative mind can do that.
    The best thing I liked is that, your story doesn't touch line of vulgarity. It's a fascinating character study with a distinctive setting. Can't say I've seen a fiction yet addressing this sort of scenario, very interested. Well written bro.

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  35. Perhaps, this is the best comment I have received for the story thus far. Cannot say much. Thanks Guru, but your feedback has its down-side - it has developed a writer's block in me ..................................................

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  36. You are welcome.
    Couldn't agree more :-)

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  37. I told u Bullet..u must make a novel of ur stories...i felt like reading a novel while goin through ur writing..great creative thinking...i believes ur stories will be nice movie material one day... !
    gud going.

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  38. Well I dont normally read such lengthy blogs, but then since Basil the Bullet insisted I thought I'd give it a go. Add to it the tempting title ;) & i agree with Swapz too, U gotta put urself in a gals shoes to write such stuff :)

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  39. Doc Sandy, you never know. More than a decade ago, an aunt told me why not write a book ... well, never thought of it then, lest dream about the same until a month ago ...Reading a certain published novel by Srishti Publishers made me believe if he could write, why not I ? But writing 60,000 words for a novel requires more than time and effort. One of the earlier commentators and fellow cricket buff, Sheffali feels I have it in me to write a novel - and it got me thinking. I even told my long-time pal and critic of this short-story, that I could well turn this short-story into a novel. And this content itself could expand into four chapters.

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  40. Thanks Ferny for the blog visit. Do read my other short story, also on the same theme, among other posts in this blog as well. Your feedback would be appreciated there as it is with your comment here. And yes Swapz is absolutely correcto on what she had said. And that you say the title made for a tempting read, I never made an intention as such. It just went well with the start and at the ending right ? Only yesterday, I came across this blog, where the blogger had a post simply titled as 'Pictures of Boobs.' And as you would expect, it had many hits, and comments from the visitors, random or otherwise.The content of that particular post may have not been revealing as expected, but I trust that you get it what I am trying to say. Just for the record, between the two short stories published here so far, here are some stats -
    A Hope of Love Stays Afloat
    Jun 15, 2011
    256 Pageviews
    Virginity Deflowered
    Jul 20, 2011
    169 Pageviews
    Need I say any more ?

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  41. Bro...you write really well man...you should write a book...all the best.

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  42. Thank you buddy. Need all the support & encouragement of my well-wishers.

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  43. Dear Basil, if you will really appreciate my constructive feedback then please tell me what the hell is a "tube top"? Your short story or your blog is very nice indeed but please use words that have a meaning and not some made-up words like "cerulean-blue tube top" and others that you have used. Cheers!

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  44. Basil Da Bullet said: "tube top is a kind of outfit which mod gals wear"!!!

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  45. I hope you understand what I'm saying ... DON'T USE WRONG WORDS!!! I could have understood if you were a "gal" or a girl and you said: "I rummaged through the clothes and pulled out a cerulean-blue tube top and my frayed at the borders short jeans to match."

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  46. Oh shit, do you mean that you are gal in this story?

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  47. Can I date you????

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  48. gawddd Ivo, u went to the extent of re-posting our convo from fb ? anyway,you and your weird humour :) trust u had all your explanations,also with regds to cerulean-blue and verdant-greens (on another story perhaps). you should watch chick flicks or be well-read to know more on tube-tops n other fancy girlie outfits :P To detail in, its a shoulderless thingy which keeps the belly exposed. Its a figure-hugging top actually, known as a boob-tube in the West. Girls/Ladies who read my blog care to enlighten the gentleman concerned further ?

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  49. 1st time here, and i must say that you keep your readers engaged through out the post, though its a lengthy one but so well penned and beautifully narrated that i never felt like its so lengthy....i am really glad to be here..:)

    will try to go through previous posts too, btw thanks for the visit at my space i am honored..hope to see you more often there.

    Best wishes,
    irfan

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  50. Thanks for your warm feedback Irfan, and yes, do read my previous posts, and the ones' to come.

    While you have thanked me for visiting your space, I feel very obliged to have chanced upon and read your blog. It does make for good lighter reading with your simple and lucid style of writing. As your blog follower, I will have an eye on your posts to come.In the meanwhile,I will gradually read all your unread posts.

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  51. Hi Basil Heard you're trying to get 'The Love Asana'. try writing on the wall on the Mills and Boon India Club page on facebook or write to customer.care@hmbindia.com.
    Am sure they will help you.
    Cheers

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  52. I read it the moment it was out & I tell you it was AWESOME!!! Just beautiful. My friend's stolen my copy and am so mad at her.

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  53. Hi Tasha.Many thanks for all that:) Will do the needful.But if you could temme how you came across my blog,if you happen to drop by again ;)And if you do,it would be nice to have your insightful feedback on this particular work of fiction of mine. And I hope its more than just a book steal by your pal, and it is passed on :P

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  54. I lyk ur writing style. While being careful wid words while describing unmentionable or delicate situations/things, u r pretty unpredictable- particularly referring to d fuck u suddenly uzd- felt lyk while suffocating, a gust of air hit my face. Lykd d post...

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  55. thanks for the feedback. what you said towards the end brought a smile to my face :)

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  56. This flowed incredibly well, and I absolutely loved it...beautifully written...you hv enlivened the whole writing by detailing every single move of hers...its still popping in my head:)
    You really kno how to put a girl's emotions into a wonderful masterpiece

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  57. Nida, thanks for your pleasant feedback :) You do have a nice way in putting words together in appreciation of others' creativity. I am sure you will make for a great fiction writer. Looking forward to your next chapter of The Last Daughters :)

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  58. Just keep on doing what you do best. That's God's gift to you.

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  59. Thanks for the visit Ellen, and particularly for the comment. Its a rarity that random visitors drop their feedback on someone's blog post/s.

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  60. That was a good one, takes me back yo the M&B days. Thanks for the encouraging words.

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  61. thanks for the visit Krupaa. stay connected :)

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  62. very nicely written and kept me bounded throughout the story. at some points it was heavy and felt a restriction in the flow.but your art of presenting small things in such extraordinary manner amazes me. good insight into a girl's mind... :P

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  63. Thx dear, means a lot to me. Will try to improve on subsequent stories I write, bearing the shortcomings as such in mind.

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  64. i actually njoyed readin it..its awfully wonderful....i m ur fan...now!! i was ur fan before bt now a big fan..hahaahhaaa keep on writin!!!

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  65. Thanks again. And, yea .... it was nice of you to share your no-holds-barred story. Do get those 100 pgs polished n furthered on. The extract you shared with moi has content, and it could well be enhanced to book value :) My best wishes are with you, and the first autographed copy of your book should be mine :)

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  66. nice!
    The best part about it and the most interesting one was that you chose to write it from a girl's point of view.
    I like the attempt, a lot!
    However, I want you to hone your skills a little more. Take care to explain with finesse the details..thats true eroticism!
    and I sensed a bit of hurriedness as the act matured..Maybe the speed should remain constant throughout..
    yeah, so thats d not so needed, but always available feedback from my end!
    :)
    Keep me posted!
    Cheers n Love!

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  67. Thanks Pri .... feedback coming from a literary lighthouse as you is more than just well-received for sure. Will surely try to do better when in the mood to write erotica the next time. And will definitely keep you posted :))

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    Replies
    1. you are a sweetheart!

      And I ain't no lighthouse! yea, keep me posted.!!

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  68. I have found a gem of a writer.
    You are truely a gem
    great writing
    I was hooked to the story from the beginning to the end.
    beautiful work

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  69. Its still in raw form, the gem. Uncut, unpolished .... Its motivation from published authors like you which will find that elusive sparkle in my writings :))

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  70. I have one word for it... Awesome... It's perfectly well-written and well-explained. Keep going, Basil!!!

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  71. Thanks buddy, you have been too kind with your words. Expected constructive feedback from a talented author as you though ...

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  72. loved it....infact i loved the rawness.....its pure.....and beautiful for sure :)

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  73. Thanks Dr. Rachit Bhushan. Will look forward to your debut novel :))

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